From the toddler to the tweenWhen kids are young, yes you need to monitor. Not spying, monitoring. Spying implies that you are doing it behind their back. But you can’t teach if it’s not in partnership with your child. It needs to be a proviso of having access to devices, and games, and social networks and well, the rest of the world. They need to know you are watching. You need to use this time whilst you have control to teach them. You need to guide their behaviours. To do your best to protect them from content they don’t need to see. To help them make decisions to keep them safe. To instil in them attitudes and values that will ensure they become critical thinkers later on when you no longer have that control.
What do you mean ‘no control’? Aren’t we, as the parent, always in control?
The end date to monitoringAnyone who has a child entering the teen and even tweens years will tell you, that when it comes to what our kids are doing online, the years when we can monitor and friend and follow and be safe in having it all covered, are limited to say the least. The years when we know what sites they are visiting, who they are talking to, what they are uploading and reading and sharing has an end date.
The end date happens because kids have devices for school that are internet enabled and they can log in to the rest of the world at any time.
The end date happens because kids hang out with other kids and their devices on the bus or at friends houses or on the walk home from school.
The end date happens because our kids are curious, want to explore and know how to do it undetected.
The end date happens because kids still want and need privacy. They are trying to do it in a very public space, but they still want it and seek it out.
They are now logging in to sites we don’t know exist
They are opening accounts with usernames we’d never find
They are opening multiple accounts on one site to keep some control
They are talking to people they have never met
They are having people criticise their latest photo
They are being exposed to content that at the very least makes us cringe
They are basing the worth of a photo and subsequently the worth of themselves on the number of likes and follows and shares.